Episode 1: Introductions and Discovering Healing Paths in Personal Trauma

This episode introduces Andrea Ennis and her journey with PTSD and CPTSD, highlighting the crucial difference between coping and healing. Andrea shares personal experiences, definitions of PTSD and CPTSD, and lays out the format for future episodes, emphasizing community engagement and support. 
• Andrea introduces her personal experiences with PTSD and CPTSD 
• Discussion of long COVID's impact on Andrea's mental health 
• Importance of recognizing trauma instead of merely coping 
• Overview of clinical definitions of PTSD and CPTSD 
• Reflection on societal stigma surrounding mental health 
• Breathing exercise for mindfulness and relaxation 
• Outline of the show's format and future episodes

Chapters

• 0:15 Healing Journey
• 14:59 Unpacking PTSD and CPTSD
• 28:47 Upcoming Special Episodes and Reflections
• 44:55 Emotional Healing Through Sharing

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:15

Hi and welcome to CPTSD and Me where we walk our healing journey together. I'm your host, andrea Ennis, and this is the first episode of the show called Introductions, and that's exactly what this episode is going to do it's going to introduce me to you and give you a better idea of what the show will be about, the structure of future episodes and future features of the show, once we pick up a little bit more steam and get some more listeners under our belts. Now, before we get into anything, if you do like what you hear or think someone else would enjoy what we have, please don't hesitate to hit the subscribe button or share the show so you don't miss any future episodes. And if you really like what you hear, please head over to our Patreon and join one of our membership tiers for exclusive posts and benefits in exchange for your monetary contributions to the show. So you're likely asking yourself, as you're listening to me speak, what's this all about? First, let me tell you who I am in a little brief, fuller introduction.

Speaker 1: 1:30

My name is Andrea Ennis and I have PTSD and CPTSD, as well as some neuro spiciness. I have ADHD a little unclear if I have autism. I do identify with some of the symptoms, and I currently have a referral for that. So if I speak to that from a personal perspective, it's only in relation to these symptoms that I do experience not any specific diagnosis or anything like that diagnosis or anything like that. I am a very proud wife and mother. My husband of eight years almost this November will be eight years is Chris, and my daughter, who is turning five on the 22nd of January, eleanor. They are both my light and the reason that I am here today.

Speaker 1: 2:26

So I am also a formerly practicing attorney. I used to practice federal labor and employment law and New York state labor and employment law, so think of like discrimination cases, not so much. My boss didn't pay me what he was supposed to. About four years ago I got COVID, and I just never got better. I was initially diagnosed with long haul COVID, and now the doctors are thinking that there is some other new autoimmune disorder that got triggered, since I already have a history of an autoimmune disorder. Because of that though because of the long haul and the new autoimmune my body kind of gave out and I couldn't cope. For the first time in my life I couldn't just power through the pain and the fatigue. I also couldn't trust myself to practice actively anymore and protect my client's interests, so I had to step back from that and basically do a different job as far as legal billing goes legal billing review, where I use my former practicing experience and apply it to legal bills to ensure that the law firms are following the ethical guidelines that we, as attorneys, have to follow in order to bill the client.

Speaker 1: 4:01

Because of that, and having to slow down and not have that active on call uh feeling as an attorney, I was left with a not insignificant amount of time, stuck with my own thoughts and these feelings that that I hadn't experienced before. All of a sudden, I couldn't stop myself from continuing down the paths of those thoughts that I had always been avoiding. I tried to block out any images that came to my mind, any thoughts, sounds, feelings, smells, anything that brought me back, because I wanted to be now and in the future. I convinced myself that because of this, I was better, and through my journey of forcing myself to stop, I learned that I wasn't. I was able to sit down and say, though confront a very hard truth that my trauma wasn't managed, it was ignored. I wasn't controlling my trauma and recollection of my traumatic experiences. It was controlling me and I was never going to be better until I stopped ignoring it.

Speaker 1: 5:28

Now you're likely thinking, yeah, and who doesn't have to shove it down to get through? But that's just it. You're not getting through like you think you are Coping and healing. Those are not the same things. They're completely different. Your demons they're trying to claw their way out and it will end up hurting the people that you love the most, those people that give you that unconditional love that you may or may not have had as a child. You know those are the people that we want to keep safe, and if we want to keep them safe, we have to learn that we're safe. So that's what those demons do. They start this cycle of confirmation bias and your trauma lies and tells you that it's the truth, when it's really not. So that everybody is the reason I started the show to let you know that I really have been through it. I say that not to minimize anyone's struggle, but my ACE score if anyone doesn't know what that is, that's an adverse childhood experience score is a nine out of 10.

Speaker 1: 6:52

I really suggest, if you have any type of trauma, traumatic experience, recollection, anything like that know someone that does. Go and look at those questions and then really try to put yourself in that position. If you had to answer yes to that, what would that do to you and how you grew up, what would that do to you and your understanding of how to deal with traumatic experiences later on? And that's basically what I was forced to do and, as I'm doing that, I really want to share that journey with you guys, because I convinced myself that I had reached those safer waters. I'm sure, like some of you, may have convinced yourselves, but it opened my eyes to the fact that I was not swimming. I hadn't even started swimming. I was on a deserted island by myself. I hadn't even started swimming. I was on a deserted island by myself and all these people were screaming to me we can save you, we can help you, but you need to learn to trust us.

Speaker 1: 8:11

And that's what I'm trying to share with all of you is my journey of that, because maybe this honest, spoken experience can help someone save their relationship with their son, their daughter, their husband, their co-worker, a dear friend you've had for decades. Maybe you know that they've been through it, but you don't know how to help. Know that they've been through it, but you don't know how to help, and that's what I want to give you is this experience that I've had and maybe it may resound with you enough to help yourself or someone that you deeply, deeply care about. So what we'll do right now is we'll take a brief pause for just a quick break, either a breathing exercise, 30 seconds of music, whatever it might be and when we get back I'll let you know, basically, what is PTSD and CPTSD. You know what do I use to describe my experiences in that clinical aspect Because, again, this is all my personal experience.

Speaker 1: 9:03

None of this is intended in any way to be, you know, counseling. It's just a matter of the idea of basically behind group therapy or AA or Al-Anon, just the fact that you hear other people experiencing these things, that may resound with you. It may lead you to reflect differently on your own, and that's all this is to be. It may lead you to reflect differently on your own, and that's all this is to be. So I'll let you know the clinical guidelines that I use for the show, my reasoning for it, and then I'll give you the format of the episodes and some stuff we have in the works, but for right now, enjoy the break and we'll be right back. Hi and welcome back. Thank you so much for coming back, um.

Speaker 1: 10:16

So what I'll do now is I think I should go through you know what the clinical definitions of ptsd and cptsd are, you know which ones I use for the show, as well as you know what I as a lay person experiencing those things and being diagnosed with those things, what I get from it and why I look at those factors the way that I do. So let's start with PTSD, since CPTSD is basically PTSD but complex. So PTSD, there are two primary diagnostic criteria when we're talking that is used by mental health professionals when we're talking about someone being diagnosed with PTSD or CPTSD. So the first one that you'll hear a lot, especially if you're in America and in the American healthcare system, is the DSM-5. And what the DSM-5 is? It's an American diagnostic criteria gathered by professionals in the American psychological field and peer-reviewed studies. All of it is very valid.

Speaker 1: 11:30

I don't want anyone to feel that I'm discrediting it in any way and I will again give you my reasons for using the ICD-11 instead. So why the ICD-11? Well, what is it? So? The ICD-11 is from the World Health Organization's mortality and morbidity statistics. So, basically, instead of it being American diagnostic criteria, it's what the global health community has agreed upon that should be used for diagnosing someone, regardless of, necessarily their cultural influence, such as America. It's more sterilized, in my personal opinion.

Speaker 1: 12:20

So, like I said, for the podcast, we'll be doing the ICD-11. And it's kind of twofold. The reason is podcasts are global. Maybe something is more aligned with their personal country's own diagnostic criteria. You know things along those lines.

Speaker 1: 12:52

And then the other thing is that, as I was doing my research for the show, I stumbled upon an article called A Review of Current Evidence Regarding ICD-11 Proposals for Diagnosing PTSD and Complex PTSD by Chris R Bruin et al in the 2017 Elsevier Clinical Psychology Review, and, as always, I will always try to include links to research or sources in the show notes. The article, though, has the following quote regarding the differences between the DSM-5 and the ICD-11. Quote ICD adopts a public health perspective and is organized around maximizing clinical utility for the use of diagnoses around the world or, excuse me, worldwide. And that's again Bruin et al 2017, citing Marcer et al 2013. So, by utilizing a system adopted and subsequently peer-reviewed globally, we'll have a larger and more complete picture of what the condition is, whether it be PTSD or CPTSD, how it presents in different patient groups and then subsequently how treatment for those different patient groups can progress and maybe give you an idea, like when I'm sharing my experience if you have someone that goes through the same type of therapy and again, even if it is the same type of therapy you can never expect the same type of things, but you know, maybe something that they relate to you or feel comfortable sharing with you or that you hear in the group, if it's yourself, you know, maybe something like that will click and it will help you process that help you're receiving more. So, now that the reasoning is out of the way, what are PTSD and CPTSD? So, as a general reminder, I am not a medical professional.

Speaker 1: 14:59

These definitions are directly from the ICD-11. And again, we'll link in the show notes are directly from the ICD-11. And again, we'll link in the show notes. So PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder, is code 6B40 in the ICD-11.

Speaker 1: 15:15

The ICD-11 lists three primary elements for diagnosing PTSD. The three elements are one re-experiencing the traumatic event or events in the form of vivid, intrusive memories, flashbacks or nightmares. Number two avoidance of thoughts and memories of the event or events or avoidance of activities, situations or people reminiscent of the event. And three persistent perception of heightened current threat, ie hypervigilance or enhanced startle response. So as we go through the show, we'll obviously be covering all of those elements more in depth. As far as my journey goes, and those elements that I have experienced in the past and currently do experience, and how they've changed over time, from what I remember then and what I remember now of those feelings. For those elements, because as I have gone through therapy, uh, specifically um CPT therapy, um, through my um medical professionals at Stony Brook university, um, I, I've been learning to focus on my stuck points and reassess, maybe, how I used to see it. And is that the correct not correct way, but you know the healthy way to be looking at that or is that still my defensive response?

Speaker 1: 16:50

So, now that we know a little bit more about PTSD, what is CPTSD? Cptsd or complex post-traumatic stress disorder? Now I'm going to stop for a second. You may have also heard the term chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. Now I'm going to stop for a second. You may have also heard the term chronic post-traumatic stress disorder. I prefer using complex and that is what I will use for the show because more inclusive of those with a single traumatic experience that may have resulted in a manifestation of symptoms that are multiple layers of trauma, maybe, know, maybe they have hypervigilance and you know, dissociation just as a hypothetical. You know those type of things may have only stemmed from one experience, but it's multiple traumas and therefore complex. So you know what we're going to do is basically explore that a little more.

Speaker 1: 17:50

So CPTSD is comprised of the first three factors for PTSD, plus three additional factors, for a total of six factors, hence complex. The additional three factors are, starting with number four four problems with affect or emotional regulation and we'll talk more about affect and emotional regulation of future episodes because this is one of my severe, severe, severe areas, so I will be expounding on this. Number five beliefs about oneself as diminished, defeated or worthless, accompanied by feelings such as shame, guilt or failure related to the traumatic event. And number six difficulties in sustaining relationships and in feeling close to others. Now, if anything, just so you know more about me and what we're going to be dealing with, these three factors are my primary difficulties, the ones that I was hiding and trying to mask and realized that I was coping and not healing. So these three factors you know obviously the first three factors are required, so we will be talking about those, but a lot of it will relate back to those three factors necessarily intertwine, you know, with with the first three, because you need those first three in order to have the last three. So I feel like they're kind of two halves of the same coin, so to speak. So we'll be speaking a lot about that, but through those last three you'll learn more about the first three. So don't worry, it is for everyone, it just we'll get there.

Speaker 1: 19:42

So an additional note regarding these factors from the ICD-11 is, quote the symptoms must cause significant impairment in personal, family, social, educational, occupational or other important areas of functioning. End quote. That is where I realized I was is that once I wasn't able to ignore and I was forced to confront, I could no longer function. It was all just kind of downhill from there. So I want to take just a quick second to make a comment about that last quote. By the way, a comment about that last quote, by the way, when we as a society as a whole think of traumatized people, we tend to think of people who are substance addicts, unhoused people, etc. Essentially, those that society has collectively decided have no value. And I was inspired by a statement from a TEDx talk and I am so sorry I cannot remember the name of the speaker. If anyone knows, please feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to add that speaker and hopefully a link to the source in the show notes. But the speaker said in general terms we as a society look at what is wrong with addiction theft to support a habit, death, family turmoil, etc. But we rarely, if ever, stop and look at what is right with addiction, ie what is the addict getting from it that is otherwise missing from their life? If you're like me, you're here because you're on a hunt for answers and peace.

Speaker 1: 21:35

I started this podcast because I felt like a slave to my emotions and irrational thoughts. I still do. To be completely honest with you guys, it's an everyday struggle, it's an everyday fight and we'll get more into that, obviously, through further episodes. But the only reason I was able to feel anything about my emotions was because I got long COVID and a new mystery autoimmune disorder in my body, like I said, gave out. I couldn't work every waking minute anymore and when that happened. I was forced to feel I had been addicted to work for so long and seeking my self-worth and validation only through my successes at work, so much so that I was neglecting every other facet of my well-being. Whether it be my mental well-being, my spouse's well-being which led to my well-being, whether it be my child's well-being, I would lock myself in a room for hours. I still do sometimes. Like I said, this is going to get real, this is going to get honest, you know, because my daughter triggers me. I give my daughter the life that I wanted and now she has it and I'm, in essence, mourning what I lost and that's hard and I don't want to give her a complex or something like that when it's not her fault. So I hide, but again, that's coping, that's not healing. So I think right here is a great place to pause for either a breathing exercise probably a breathing exercise or a music break. When we come back, I'll give a quick rundown of what the format for the episodes will be, how the format of the whole show will go and episodes in the works. So stay tuned and we will be right back.

Speaker 1: 23:41

Our exercise today is called equal breathing. Equal breathing is a super easy habit to pick up, and here's how we'll do it. Our exercise today is called equal breathing. Equal breathing is a super easy habit to pick up, and here's how we'll do it. First, we'll inhale for a count of five and then pause for a count of one. Then we'll exhale for another count of five and pause for a count of one one more time. Then we'll repeat. Super easy, right. So let's get started. Go ahead and inhale for a count of one, two, three, four, five, and then pause for one and inhale for one, two, three, four, five, pause for one and exhale for one, two, three, four, five and pause for one. As with any type of health routine, always consult with a medical professional, which I am not. This breathing exercise was given to me by my psychologist as a way to bring my thoughts to a more neutral state. It helps me have clearer thinking for healthier long-term decision-making.

Speaker 1: 25:02

And now let's get back to the show. Hi and welcome back, and thank you so much for still being with me here on my first episode. I can't believe I'm actually sitting here finally getting this together and done. This has been a dream in the making and I just want to thank you guys so much for being here with me. I'd also like to send that quick reminder to you guys if you like what you hear, hit the subscribe button so you don't miss any new episodes, and don't forget to share with someone that you think might enjoy it or might benefit from it.

Speaker 1: 25:38

So what I'd like to do right now is basically wrap up the show with what the format of the show will be as a whole. Wrap up the show with what the format of the show will be as a whole, what the format of each episode will look like, and the episodes that we have in the works, including a couple of pretty cool bonus episodes, and then I'll give some shout outs and we will be done for our first one. So, all right, what will the show look like Before we get into it? Please remember I'm doing this with mental illnesses, so schedule and format subject to change. So episodes will be called weeklies, special guests, after school specials and art and media through the trauma lens, because if it's art and media, let's get art and media with it. But for short, art and media is for you know, brevity and all that.

Speaker 1: 26:28

So a weekly is going to be a weekly episode or biweekly episode that's going to contain a weekly introduction message from me and a quick check in. I'm going to you know, basically let you know how my week went and, if you feel like it, feel free to drop me a note with how your week went. I read every comment. You know also mental illness. Please be kind and gentle. Constructive criticism, not negative criticism, fam.

Speaker 1: 26:58

So the next thing would be a discussion of a current event or events that might be triggering. More importantly, what I want to do is I want to work through framing these events in a more neutral way so they won't be so triggering or invasive for those that do suffer from worry about current events. It's a very, very real anxiety that a lot of people, especially people with PTSD or CPTSD, deal with, especially, you know for you know, god bless them the first responders and things like that that deal with those everyday emergencies every day. You know we may be reading about them, they're seeing them, you know things like that. They're seeing them, you know things like that. So the next part would be an article or therapy of the week, almost identical to the current event discussion, but we'll discuss the pros and cons from my perspective and my experience with those so we can be better informed, survivors or allies, whatever your story may be. Allies, whatever your story may be.

Speaker 1: 28:06

Number four we're going to have an affirmation of the week, a positive word or phrase to help us during the difficult parts of the week where we just need that simple thing to fall back on and remind ourselves that we're here, we can ground ourselves, we can do this. And then five, any major upcoming events so we can mentally prepare together in healthier ways. You know, ie the upcoming inauguration. Some people have anxiety about that. You know we'll focus on things that we can do to lower our anxiety about that. If that's the case, you know as a hypothetical example. So you know, again, kind of similar to current events, but future.

Speaker 1: 28:47

Six I'll let you know about any upcoming special episodes. You know things like an art and media piece, a special guest episode, an after school special. And then seven, a suggested reflection for the week. And this is just going to be a reflection for us to think better, more rationally, about ourselves and our traumas. So you know, what we're going to do is we're going to pick one and I'll share what mine personally will be for the week, and what I want you guys to do is just try your own reflection. You know, maybe use that as a jumping off point about what your reflection for the week is going to be.

Speaker 1: 29:35

Now, um, as we grow, we'll end to the. We'll have a number eight. Um, and it's going to be um listener, questions, comments, so we can celebrate our wins or give each other support to feel heard and seen when we're struggling Again, this is really where I need you guys to advocate for yourselves. Leave those comments, questions, concerns in the comment section of wherever you're viewing or listening to this, and let's engage, let's start the conversation. Viewing or listening to this, and, you know, let's engage, let's start the conversation.

Speaker 1: 30:12

You know, eventually, as the show grows, I'll also start including special one-off episodes. So these episodes will be one special guest episodes. This is exactly what it sounds like. I will have a special guest that I've either interviewed and I will break down the interview that I had with them, or maybe sometimes I will have someone I'm speaking directly to, or maybe even some live streams in the future, if we can get there, and then you guys can see my very, very, very simple, plain face. Then there is going to be the after school specials, all right, so that, basically, these are going to be in and I'm going to give you guys trigger warnings now because this show, this episode specifically, isn't going to be as in depth on traumas as I will be in the after-school specials, and I'll give you guys an idea of what I mean by that. So I gave you guys an idea of what I struggle with, specifically about PTSD and more specifically with CPTSD.

Speaker 1: 31:20

Those last three of the six elements, right, and what I want to do is share the story, and when I say share the story, I mean my story in detail. So if you don't really believe me that, um, I've been through it, um, this will be a no holding back account, my personal account, my personal memory, um that I have done my absolute best to verify, uh, with external sources. So you know, if anything in there is incorrect, um that someone has knowledge of, please feel free to contact me privately. I would appreciate privately for that one. Um, you know the contact info for the show is with every podcast. So feel free, please, you know, contact me and correct my recollection.

Speaker 1: 32:21

But you know, on the show, obviously we'll include trigger warnings when we can. You know, some of those trigger warnings might include CSA. You know, ideation attempt, csa ideation, attempt no matter if it's self or others to harm things. Along those lines and along with every episode because of these triggering topics, just in general, for every episode I always include the resources for those in crisis, particularly in the US. Please use 988. You can call or text.

Speaker 1: 33:07

I would really, really, really suggest trying those resources. If anything in the show would happen to trigger you in a way that I'm not intending to, please understand, I don't intend to, but please use those resources. They're happen to trigger you in a way that I'm not intending to, please understand, I don't intend to, but please use those resources. They're there to help you. They're there for you in those moments so that nothing worse happens. You are not weak for reaching out for those things. And as we go through, you will learn that I have used those resources. So there is no shame. I got all the way to be a practicing attorney and I only got there using those resources, even if I didn't understand why I needed them then, like I do now. So please don't ever feel like you cannot use those resources.

Speaker 1: 33:51

And then, finally, about the after schoolschool specials listening discretion is advised. Um, don't necessarily listen to the after-school specials with the young ones around, um, with those that might otherwise be triggered, that kind of thing. Um and again, it will contain a very, very, very clear warning that it is an after-school special episode, so you have time to stop the episode. And then, finally, three. Like I said before, we're going to do art and media episodes. These are in-depth discussions around an art or media piece or pieces that I feel are connected to my trauma or trauma in general, or where the artist has specifically said that it is trauma-related or relationship-based or something along those lines, where there's a moment or a theme that's going to make us challenge our preconceptions about trauma, traumatic experiences and how it impacts us and those around us.

Speaker 1: 34:58

So I'm going to take a quick pause here for a quick music break, just to take a breath, and when we come back I'll give you details about the upcoming episodes that are already in the works. And again, before we do that, the show exists for you guys. If you like the journey so far, don't forget to subscribe or listen to the show on your. You guys, if you like the journey so far, don't forget to subscribe or listen to the show on your favorite podcast platform and for those exclusive benefits for members only head over to the Patreon, join a tier of membership and have some fun with me. All right, so let's take that quick break and we'll be right back. Welcome back and thanks again. So much for listening as we round the bend to the end of this episode.

Speaker 1: 36:10

I want to give you an idea of what's already in the works here at CPTSD and me and some future episodes coming up. First, now that we're up and running, our first weekly hopefully will be uploaded either next week or the week after. Hold on while I pull up my calendar. So, either the week ending, the 24th, but it's my daughter's birthday on the 22nd, so, um, please don't hold your breath or the week ending of the 31st um for Patreon subscribers at the $5 or more level. Um, you will be able to get that episode 24 hours earlier. Um, either on the 23rd or the 30th, whichever day that ends up coming out, but you will get access to that um, either on the 23rd or the 30th, whichever day that ends up coming out, but you will get access to that um 24 hours in advance. Uh, through Patreon. Um, so, um. Second, the first three after school specials are actually planned and written Uh, when I had started doing the scripts for this, I was going to tell you guys my story and I realized this would be a great first bonus episode and it would allow me to contain all of the triggers in something separate.

Speaker 1: 37:28

So you know, double win. So I have those done. They're in the can, so to speak, other than well, the script is in the can, so to speak, but the audio and video just need to get recorded for those. They're done. But I wanted to focus on getting this introductory episode right before we do anything else, because this is very important to me to engage with you guys, listen to you guys, um, and figure all of this out and change it. If you know one side needs it to be changed, you know again, for you guys and for me and for me. So we'll, we'll play it by ear. Um then um, the next part is I actually already have, um, like I said, those, those three scripts, done. But the, the first two episodes are going to be basically the first half of my life. The second half where you know up to present, um, except for one thing, um, in this one's a little hard for me to talk about, so I call it the frog story.

Speaker 1: 38:41

You will hear me refer multiple times throughout the podcast to the frog story. All I will give you guys about that, about the frog story beyond, if you want to listen to the episode itself, and again, it will contain the trigger warnings in the beginning. So you know, you know you can stop and not have to listen to it if something is gonna bother you that bad, um, but I will refer to the frog story multiple times throughout the show because the frog story is the story. The frog story is my first recollection true, on my own recollection of what happened to me personally. Um, I was definitely exposed to interpersonal violence as a child, um, but, um, the frog story is my first traumatic experience alone not happening to someone else, that I was experiencing in real time. So, um, that story is going to be kept separate on its own, um, and that's probably going to be released way down the line. The reason for that is very few people actually know the content of that story. I think there are, maybe I can count on one hand the amount of people that know that full story, and that includes psychiatrists and psychologists. So, just to give you an idea, it's rough, it's bad. So again, I will keep that separate. I will keep it contained. I will only refer to it as the frog story and if you really need more detail about what it was that I experienced later on down the line, expect that episode.

Speaker 1: 40:43

Finally, I have the first art and media piece chosen. I do have to write a script about it, but I was inspired by Novum's I think it's eight hour explanation video on YouTube and I will try to include a link to that because it's incredible On Midsommar, the movie by Ari Aster. The reason I picked this one for the first one is one Ari Aster was very blunt and very upfront when this movie first came out that this was about trauma from a relationship and he was inspired by a relationship that he personally had dealt with. So when I went into the movie knowing that my mind was blown, the first time I watched it I only watched it as a horror movie, but the second time I watched it I had that better understanding of Ari Aster's intent and I cannot express to you how profound an impact that movie had on me and my trauma as a whole.

Speaker 1: 42:00

So that is going to be the very first art and media piece and if you have any suggestions for future ones, please drop those in the comments, because this one is going to be fairly in-depth. But I am going to need time to find those new pieces, watch them, review them, read them, whatever the case may be, and I am going to need to essentially get there to get the episode made. So please drop those pieces in the comments. If, if you have anything that has touched you Personally, had a profound revelation, or someone you know, someone mentioned it to you and the impact it had on them, I would really like to know. So, basically, that's it. That is the format for the show. That is what each episode format will look like, and I cannot thank you guys enough for being with me through this journey, the whole journey itself and even just the journey of this first episode journey itself and even just the journey of this first episode.

Speaker 1: 43:20

Again, I can't express to you guys how grateful I am for your support, even just by listening, subscribing, downloading. You know I was talking to a couple of friends when I had posted the breathing exercise that we use as a break for the episode and the editing, and when four people downloaded it I was so giddy. So literally every single one of you. I cannot thank you enough and please, please, please, beyond that, share with someone you think this would help. You know I don't. I'm not doing this for money. I'm doing this to help myself, to help you, to help someone you know, to help everyone I love.

Speaker 1: 44:04

I cannot express to you the benefit that this show I'm hoping can have for so many people. And when I told my psychiatrist I was doing this, I told her I really for so many people. And when I told my psychiatrist I was doing this, you know I told her I really wanted to help others. You know she, she was astonished that that you know, even after everything I've been through, even the new things that I'm learning, how hard all of this is, she was astonished that I still want to help people and I I hope this does. I really hope this helps you guys or someone you know, or helps you relate to someone you know, whatever the case may be. So, you know, even even if you don't do the Patreon, whatever it may be, the best thing you can do for the show.

Speaker 1: 44:55

If you like it, listen and share. That's it Listen and share. So, guys, that's actually a wrap for the first ever episode of CPTSD and me. I again thank you both. Thank you everyone for just listening. This has been your host, andrea Ennis, and thank you for walking with me this week. And remember the more you feel, the more you can heal. Have a great week, guys. Thank you.